How did we become the owners of a Big Pink Hummer bus

Seeing is believing

The day after returning from our summer holiday to the white island, I set off to see what I had bought, as with 90% of the vehicle purchase I make my mechanic brother Cliff came along to give it the once over, he was not ready for my latest acquisition, his face was a picture when he laid eyes on the Hummer bus, he was speechless a first for Cliff I think.

After his initial shock we got down to the nitty gritty and inspected the bus, It was repairable not as bad as we first thought, let me fill you in on why the bus was up for sale, allegedly it a taken fire under the bonnet this fire had then spread into the cab area, damaging the dash and windscreen on inspection we could not find any rout for this to happen alarm bells started to ring for Cliff, me however I was not worried because in my wisdom I had HPI (Hire purchase investigation) checked the bus not just the once but twice with 2 different companies, safe in the knowledge that the bus was not an insurance job I handed over the cash arranged a delivery date and headed home to share the fantastic news with Lisa and Riley that we were now the owners of a piece of Cumbrian history.

Taking delivery

Now when Lisa first laid eyes on this little beauty I can safely say it wasn't love at first sight! I don't always run my bright ideas past Lisa I have found over the years it is easier to seek forgiveness rather than her permission or buy in! As the big pink party bus rolled off the back off the delivery truck her first question was what is that? the second was where do you think your parking that?  I really don't think she liked it, as for me I loved it! I could see the potential this bus held, with a little bit hard work and a new coat of paint we would be on to a winner with this vehicle, by purchasing the big pink party bus we had completed the first step in our self build camper van journey, onwards and upwards. 

The Bunny Girls

Lisa and I did have a conversation regarding the two bunny girls on the side of the van and it was agreed that I should remove these sooner rather than later, as we live opposite a church and the village school is not to far away it was agreed that is should do it right away, two hours later they were gone and just in time for the school kids getting out, however not in time for the for the vicar not to see them! I could see him approaching and it was clearly obvious he had seen the big pink bus parked outside our house and was making a b line straight towards me, "Hello" he said as was the usual greeting but I could tell this wasn't his usual passing greeting, he stopped and was taking in this magnificent creation, he  quickly noticed the the interior of the party bus, how best should I describe the interior of the Hummer party bus, lets say it was like a across between Jordan's bedroom and a sex dungeon! hot pink and black leatherette seating, a black glitter dance floor, LED lighting, smoke machine, a mirrored ceiling with rotating disco ball and last but not least fitted with a standard issued lap dancers pole, as the Vicar studied the interior his face was a picture, " so what are your plans for this thing then? " he ask inquisitively, well I couldn't help myself straight away I responded with " it's a mobile strip bar " where did that come from? I continued " but through the day I'm going to teach the old dears of the village how to pole dance, this will help build up their core strength and in turn improve their posture and mobility " luckily for me he laughed and responded smiling with " that should keep them busy "  we both laughed and I told him all about the big plans we had for the bus he wished me good look and off he went over the following few weeks he would drop in and check on our progress 

Preparing the bus 

The interior was horrendous it had to go, I could only imagine what had gone on in the back of that mobile strip joint, I just couldn't get the thought of what may have happened, this was potentially a biological hazard! I started to strip all the seating out along with the toilet! yes the bus had a toilet, imaging fly down the road to the next venue or nightclub trying to pee at 60mph, it get worse the toilet wasn't connected to anything no black tank anywhere straight out onto the road or unsuspecting  motorist or pedestrian, a mental note to self to pressure wash the underside of the bus before undertaking and kind of work down there, stripping out the bus was surprisingly quick after a couple of days and several trips to the dump we had our blank canvas it was time to start making good, that started with fitting a new windscreen some had smashed the windscreen from the inside out

At first, we stripped back the fire damaged dashboard and then we tackled the wiring loom which had sustained the most damage. we created a parts list and set off to the auto dismantlers in Carlisle, the dashboard plastics were easy to find we had our choice of parts they were everywhere, the wiring loom was a very different matter with so many variants as not every Crafter is the same so we took a selection of 3 different ones, once home we started the repairs the plastic dash was fix in 30 minutes, the wiring loom again was no so simple we stripped the outer fabric from the loom all the way back to the ECU (electronic control unit), doing this exposed hundreds of small cables around 30 of which were seriously damaged we would now have to replace, unplugging the ECU we picked a damaged cable and stripped from the item it supplied, then all the way back to the control unit and removed the pin from the ECU loom plug, this is not a quick job but we persevered, we estimated it took over 100 hours to rebuild the loom,

We were now able to start the bus for the first time, after fitting a new battery and filling the tank with 25lts of fresh diesel it was time to turn over the engine, this is always a worrying time we checked the oil & water and made sure all the belts were in good order, would it start? We heated the plugs twice then turn the key and listened to the engine turn, the engine turning over sounded good no rattles or taps but it hadn’t started yet a few seconds later the engine burst into life, I jumped out and stood back listening, it sounded amazing the 5 cylinder diesel is a strong engine, I left the engine for an hour to warm up, we had a good strong engine with not issues, what a result!

Choosing a new identity

Now pink is a lovely colour but it’s really not for me, for some people choosing a new colour is very easy a simple process but not for me, the colour is a huge part of the vehicles character and time should be taken to make the right choice, in the past this has delayed projects to the point where I have very finished them, knowing this I had planned ahead I had the colour already chosen VW Urano grey, we were ready to send it of to the body shop and hide its pink past

Bad news comes in brown envelopes

Lisa shouted from the kitchen that is had a few letters, I stopped what I was doing and went to see what the postman delivered this Saturday morning, well it wasn’t good news that was for sure, waiting for me was a letter from the DVLA I had recently taxed and insured the but ready to drive it to the body shop for its new identity, taxing the vehicle had triggered a alarm at DVLA resulting in this letter being issued I was instructed to take the bus directly to a VDU! A vehicle disposal unit the bus was to be crushed, this letter was telling me I didn’t own the vehicle as it had been written off by the insurance company that owned it, this must be a mistake I’ve HPI checked it twice both time it was clear, it must be a mistake ill go and check again, but there it was in black and white total loss recorded 7 days after I bought the bus, the guy who sold it to me had made a claim he lied to me! How did he ever thing he could get away with it, I was so angry, I need to talk to him but couldn’t phone him, I was so pissed off, again I asked myself how could this of happened, I’ve been conned!

I took a couple hours for me to take it all in before I made the phone call, he answered quite quickly not giving me time to worry how this was going to go, "Hi it's Sam here I bought the party bus from you" he said nothing "we need to have a chat" I said, I explained the letter the had came from DVLA , I gave him a couple of options then came to an agreement, we would both have to take some losses for him he agreed to pay me back in full the purchase price of the bus plus all the money i had spent on parts as these were now fitted to the bus, for me I agreed to not being reimbursed for my time and effort that Cliff and I had put into fixing the bus he was shocked to hear that is was up and running again,

The guy was still adamant that the bus had not been an insurance job but could not explain why the bus was now the property of the insurance company and must be crushed, I asked him out right did you make a claim against the bus insurance "I informed them it had caught fire but nothing happened" he said "have you been paid out?" there was no reply, He been caught with his pants down, he was in a bad position having sold the bus to me was his first mistake, the second was not contacting me when so when I contacted him he had to take the only deal on the table because the insurance company would be looking to collect the bus very soon,

We made arrangements to exchange the bus for cash, true to form he turned up 3 days after the arranged time after multiple phone calls from

reluctantly he handed me the money we had agreed on and I turned and walked away washing my hands of the whole event, I had spoken with DVLA prior to calling the telling them I was not the registered and the vehicle was no longer in my possession, suggesting they should contact the former owner as they say one go turn deserves another.

The moral of the story 

I believe myself to be well versed on the pitfalls of buying vehicles with over 30 years of experience buying and selling cars, building rally cars and restoring old VW, I've encountered lots of dubious vehicles and walked away, on this occasion I thought I had done enough I had taken the time to Check the MOT history on DVLA , I undertook 2 HPI checks and did a thorough job inspecting the bus, we even spent a couple of hours talking to the previous owner who convinced us he was genuine.

Luckily for me because I'd undertook the HPI checks I was protected as these companies guarantee their reports, a lot of people don't realise that you have this protection we you pay for the service, make sure you register your vehicle to take advantage of the guarantee,  in short if the  vehicle comes back and it has any hidden history that's not included on the report it's that HPI company responsibility to pay you any losses or damages at you may incur, just something to remember.

Rounding things up All ways do you homework, use the government website to check the vehicle's MOT history, request photos for proof of service history,  HPI check every vehicle before you look around it, take a friendly mechanic if you know one, ask locally about where your buying from because reputation is everything, if its a garage see if they have any social media accounts and check their reviews, lastly take everything the seller tells you with a pinch of salt they are only interested in your money not you, even the professionals get caught out with scams 

Thanks for taking time to read our blog, if you have found this story interesting or informative why not subscribe so you don't miss any future updates 

Sam

The Crafty Blinders